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Feeling Institutionalised?

I’ve had a couple of up and down moments over the last few weeks. Since the start of lockdown II, I’ve been really full on and motivated, filling my spare hours with crafting, blogging, sharing, liking, promoting, selling…. All when I’ve not been running or working at the day job…. Phew! But I don’t know why, in the last week or two the desire for Craft Happy activity has waned for some reason. At the same time, I’ve been feeling a bit lost – feeling the need for some meaningful activity to fill my days, but at the same time, not feeling very motivated to do it. A bit of a conundrum…

I make a lot of lists, it’s just how I am, and I have a Craft Happy planner. I check my progress against my longer terms goals; but despite being normally so disciplined, even those have slipped recently.

The solution has just been to take a short break from the intense activity, you probably won’t have noticed (hopefully you haven’t!), but on the inside I’ve been resting and recharging. At the same time I’ve been reflecting on what might have caused this and how long it’s likely to last.

Part of my worry is that I may have become slightly institutionalised… and I suspect I’m not the only one with this either. When lockdown is stretching in front of you, you have no choice but to accept it and make the best of it, filling your days seems like a sensible solution in the face of this. However, once you know the end is in sight, you’d expect to be rejoicing but instead some element of panic starts to set in… what will I do now? Is it safe to leave my bubble? Will I still have the same amount of time to dedicate to the things I’ve committed to do or should I scale things back a bit?

I recently booked a few days in Seaham for the end of May – I badly need a few beachcoming days – but even the thought of this terrified me and it took me ages to pluck up the courage to book. What is wrong? Why the fear?

It’s fairly obvious and hardly surprising after such a momentous and global event. The walls have closed in a bit and we need to regroup, relearn how to do the things that we so readily took for granted before. Maybe we’ll never feel the same as we did before and that’s OK too, we have to reset the sat nav and steer our own way out of this in our own time. Everyone will resume life in different ways and that’s cool.

Remember to take the time when you need to, talk when you should and keep on keeping on xx

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